There is no pride in being an alumni of a neighbourhood school

By Entire_Vehicle7532

For context, I fared rather abysmally at the PSLE, which was largely attributable to my playfulness as well as immaturity then. I sat for my 'O' Levels 5 years later in secondary 5, subsequently advancing to a neighbourhood JC. And in a few months' time, I shall be competing in what is arguably the toughest Singaporean pre-university examination.

Sure, right now I would indeed be better off focusing on my studies instead of nursing defeatist thoughts or allowing penetrating pessimism to get the better of me, but in a society where many place a premium on social status and hierarchy, I find myself possessing tremendous difficulty simply glossing over such ingrained stratifying tendencies.

I am cognizant of Shakespeare's notions regarding the futility of rank and file when facing death, however I cannot accept that ultimately I will only be mediocre during this lifetime of mine. Perhaps it is the curse of being overly self-aware, cognitive if you will, causing moi to concurrently lack both self-respect and dignity. So yes, truth be told I take no pride in ending up an alumni of some third-rate, forgettable school upon graduating. Even if I somehow manage to do well in the 'A' Levels, I would most likely look way past having accomplished a no mean feat and only explicitly recall my failures. I therefore can never find closure. Sigh, anyways back to grinding for you know what.


I feel like a failure

Feeling like a small fish in a very huge pond

This JC kid is nearing rock bottom