I really f***ing hate my secondary school

By sgoffmychest

Oh boy, where do I start?

I'm a secondary 4 Express student taking the O's this year. 15 male from a single sex secondary school somewhere in central (?) Singapore.

I regretted joining this school from the very moment I entered its code as my 2nd choice for secondary school admission. Those elusive 4 marks in my PSLE t-score were to change my life for the next 4 years, for the worst.

I didn't brace myself enough for Secondary 1. I was from a school environment whereby insulting/name-calling wasn't entertained within the student cohort itself. But here, it seemed to be a f***ing class - no, level - tradition. The amount of insults and bullying I received in the first two years.. f***ing hell. (to put things into perspective, I am an overweight guy who used to be emotional - to the point of crying - during my first two years in that school). They were so dedicated to bullying me that they created whatsapp groups to spew all sorts of shit about me. New insults about my family members, offensive memes, etc.

Somehow managed to make some good friends, they however fell to the dark side and turned against me. Oh boy was that fun to go through. all my personal stuff being thrown out in the open and used against me.

tldr: it was a royal clusterf*** of (insert other swear words here).

At the end of secondary 2, I was so excited to leave this class. I had lost my chance(s) to contribute to my school (couldn't be a prefect since I didn't attend a prerequisite leadership course, didn't attend my UG cca's trainings regularly during Secondary 1 and 2 and subsequently was unable to secure any exco positions, didn't get anywhere near entering the class committee for both years). But whatever, new Sec 3/4 class, mostly new people to get to know, new friendships blah blah blah. No pure Chemistry or Physics for H2 at JC level? It's okay man, just get an A1 at O's for combined science and its all good.

I wanted to graduate from this school, be remembered for the good things and whatever.

Things haven't been going as planned, however.

Conflicting interests? Maybe.

Introversion? Seemed like it.

I came to realise that I wasn't bad at socialising, I was actually pretty good at it, but I was painfully selective in who I wanted to be around with.

This didn't exactly serve me well. Many people in my class thought I was a stuck up piece of shit or something to that effect.

I guessed that graduation wasn't going to be what I thought it would be.

Apart from that, there were the handful of retards that took joy in making my life harder than it was. A few of the f***ers from my Secondary 2 class, were unfortunately, smart enough to get promoted into my mid-tier class. Tried to curb my social life within my class and all that shit. And there's the others that thought that repeating my name in weird voices around and behind me would be so f***ing hilarious. (For the record, I have a pretty uncommon name - uncommon enough to be made into a joke apparently. I even went to the extent of asking my parents to change my goddamn name, but to no avail so far).

I started to develop a bad rep within a sizeable chunk of the cohort, even amongst people that I didn't know personally and vice versa.

I don't even know many of these f***ing people and they made (and still are making) fun of me for things that I am and things that I'm not.

All I want now is an L1R5 of < 10, a place in my JC of choice (affiliated w/ my current school) and my teachers' appraisal. Everything else can rightfully f*** off.

No hate against this school though, it's school culture is amazing and lives up to what it's termed ([redacted] - I think that's a big clue already haha). This same culture is imminent in the interconnected primary school, secondary school and JC, and that's why I want to continue my journey in the affiliated JC.

In a way, these 3 and a half years of hell have been beneficial. I came to learn about my true psychological/socio-emotional limits, about different types of people, and how to discern between good human beings and nasty ones.

This post was first published over at Reddit on 28 May 2015. You may wish to leave words of advice for this young author on the page itself.


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