Hypothetical: What happens if you end your life dear gal?

By Anonymous Fellow Student


Wanna kill yourself? Imagine this. You came home from school one day. You’ve had yet another horrible day. You were just ready to give up. So you went to your room, closed the door, took out that suicide note you had written and rewritten over and over and over. You took out those razor blades, and cut yourself for the very last time. You grabbed that bottle of pills and swallowed them all. Lying down, holding the letter to your chest, you closed your eyes for the final time.


A few hours later, your little brother knocked on your door to inform dinner’s ready. There was no reply, so he walked in. All he saw was you lying still on your bed, so he assumed you were asleep. He told your mum about this. Your mom subsequently entered your room to rouse you from slumber. Then she sensed something was odd. She grabbed the paper in your hand and read it. Sobbing, she shook you violently, begging you to open your eyes. She was screaming your name. Your brother, so confused, ran off to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad rushed to your room. He looked at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest, sitting next to your lifeless body. It suddenly hit him, and he lets out a haunting wail. He yelled and threw stuff at the wall. And then, falling to his knees, he started to cry. Your mom crawled over to him, and they sat there, holding each other, crying.


The next day at school, an announcement was made by your principal about the suicide. It tooks a few seconds for it to sink in, and once it did, everyone went extremely silent. Everyone starting blaming themselves. Your teachers wondered if they were too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they wanted to retract all the nasty things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex-boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, the one who broke up with you-he just couldn’t handle it. He broke down crying, and dashed out of the school compound. Your friends? They sobbed away, asking themselves over and over again how they failed to sense that something was amiss, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late. And your best friend? She want into shock. She didn’t want to believe it actually happened. She knew what you were going through, but she never thought it would get that bad, bad enough for you to end it. She couldn’t cry, couldn’t feel anything. She stood up, walked out of the classroom, and just sank to the floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out.


A few days later, at your funeral, the whole town came. Everyone knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality. The one that was always there for them, willingly providing a shoulder to cry on. Lots of people talked about all the good memories they had with you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s too young. Your parents simply said you had to rest for a long, long time. It hurt him a lot still. You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for him. Your best friend, she stayed strong through the entire service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the ground, she lost it. She cried and cried…..for days.


Two years later, some of your teachers resigned. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex-boyfriend doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around with girls. Your friends all slip into depression. Your best friend? She tried to kill herself, though thankfully she didn’t succeed. Your brother? He finally found out the truth about your death. He self harms, cries at night, he does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide. Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got diagnosed with depression and just lay in bed all day.


Moral of the story? People care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t just affect yourself. They affect everyone around you. Don’t end your life, you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked before, I’m here for you.


YOU MAY WISH TO READ:


On a teacher's suicide: three things we need to talk about (suicide solution: psychological distress, mental illness stigma, and inequality)


The Young and Suicidal


Dodging the REAL Issues - The Case of Benjamin Lim